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A Little Telescope Humor

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#26 Ravenous

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 05:26 AM

- Moon too dim: refractor.
- Moon is yellow: achro refractor.
- Moon is fuzzy: catadioptric (several types).
- Moon is shimmery: newtonian.
- Moon is moving: clock drive broken.
- Moon is shaking: earthquake.
- Moon is blue: good weather has been forecast for the next few months (highly unlikely).
- Moon not visible: eclipse (several types).

#27 csrlice12

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 07:27 AM

Of course it's upside down, the Newt they used was donated by Pizza Hut.......

#28 Jon Isaacs

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 08:19 AM

Joe's better at Photoshop that me..

Jon

He must be...
Your Newtonian image does not show nearly enough photon splatter. :lol:


There was nothing I could do about that, it was a real image taken through a Newtonian... Sometimes a dose of reality messes up everything.. :whee:

Jon

#29 Alein 1630

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 11:30 AM

:jump: :jump: :rainbow:the moon looks kind awesome in the achro...anyone agree?

#30 csrlice12

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 12:12 PM

Are SCTs really that blurry?????????

#31 Doug Culbertson

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 12:18 PM

Are SCTs really that blurry?????????


No

#32 csrlice12

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 12:24 PM

....thought maybe it was due to dew....or tears..... :lol:

#33 Jon Isaacs

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 12:33 PM

Are SCTs really that blurry?????????


It's actually way worse than that... This is an actual photo I took with a 10 inch SCT, I had to sharpen and stack a number of images to get the image I originally posted. Notice how the high contrast sign on the moon's surface is sharp in the Newtonian and refractor but badly blurred in the SCT. This is partially due to the optics not being cooled down but most of it is just the effect of the Central obstruction.

The most difficult task was changing the sign on the moon from Newtonian to SCT. I had to rely on Leprechaun's in space suits with superpowers to get the job done.

Jon

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#34 csrlice12

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 12:50 PM

...we control the horizontal, we control the vertical...we can focus it to a blur, or sharpen it to crystal clarity....


Superpowered Leprechaun's in space suits explains a lot....

#35 WarmWeatherGuy

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 12:55 PM

The most difficult task was changing the sign on the moon from Newtonian to SCT. I had to rely on Leprechaun's in space suits with superpowers to get the job done.

Jon


What sign do the Leprechauns put up when two or more different telescopes are taking pictures of the Moon at the same time? I think someone is pulling my leg.

#36 starrancher

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 01:06 PM

:jump: :jump: :rainbow:the moon looks kind awesome in the achro...anyone agree?




Purple Haze ares in mines brains
Lately things theys don't seems the sames
Actin funny but I donts knows whys
Scuse me whiles I kiss the skies

Help may !
Yeah !
It's Jimi talkin to ya !

#37 PeterR280

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 01:21 PM

Jimi did not have the plural endings in his greatest song.

#38 csrlice12

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 01:42 PM

It's the Jimi Bush version......

#39 GeneT

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 03:21 PM

Joe's better at Photoshop that me..

Jon


This is more like it. :grin:

#40 Cotts

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 04:23 PM

An APO refractor owner, an SCT owner and a Newtonian owner walk into a bar...

Dave

#41 jrcrilly

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 04:31 PM

An APO refractor owner, an SCT owner and a Newtonian owner walk into a bar...


...but only one of them walks out...

#42 hottr6

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 04:46 PM

:jump: :jump: :rainbow:the moon looks kind awesome in the achro...anyone agree?

Too much acid, Dude.

#43 Ed Holland

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 08:04 PM


If there were no such thing as aberrations, there'd be almost nothing to discuss here on CN :poke:

#44 csrlice12

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 08:36 PM

:jump: :jump: :rainbow:the moon looks kind awesome in the achro...anyone agree?

Too much acid, Dude.


The sky, it's purple! Must be an achromat!

#45 starrancher

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 09:13 PM

Why the long face ?

#46 starrancher

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 09:37 PM

A nice story - the elderly are beautiful
When we get older we think differently, don't we?
This letter was sent to the Principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon
for the elderly. 
An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize
and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all humankind.

Dear Kean Elementary:
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior
citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Sprenger Home for
the Aged. All of my family has passed away.. I am all alone now and
it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for
your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and has
always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never
let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.
The other day her radio fell off the night stand and brokeinto a lot
of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. Her distress over the
broken radio touched me and I knew this was God's way of answering my
prayers. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss
my *BLEEP*.
Thank you for that opportunity.
Sincerely,
Agnes
 
 
 
 

#47 hbanich

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 11:18 PM

...and the Newtonian owner orders a can of Budweiser, the SCT owner orders a bottle of Coors and the APO owner orders Guinness - in a shot glass. When bartender asks why, the APO owner says "I don't need as big a glass, and it tastes better!"

#48 Ravenous

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Posted 20 September 2013 - 02:56 AM

An APO refractor owner, an SCT owner and a Newtonian owner walk into a bar...

Dave

...the APO owner spends the first hour just debating which Glass to use...

#49 Jon Isaacs

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Posted 20 September 2013 - 03:13 AM

An APO refractor owner, an SCT owner and a Newtonian owner walk into a bar...

Dave

...the APO owner spends the first hour just debating which Glass to use...


:rofl5:

And the second hour explaining how a small glass is better than a big glass even though it holds less and each drink of the same poison costs more... :ubetcha:

Jon

#50 Jon Isaacs

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Posted 20 September 2013 - 03:19 AM

Good news, bad news:

Joe:

I have some Good News and some Bad News, which do you want first?

Sam:

Tell me the Good News.

Joe:

I just discovered the most perfect telescope ever made, it's a 4 inch refractor and it costs $5000.

Sam:

Great, what's the bad news?

Joe:


I just discovered the most perfect telescope ever made, it's a 4 inch refractor and it costs $5000.

Jon






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