Mike I. Jones
Carpal Tunnel
Reged: 07/02/06
Posts: 1572
Loc: Fort Worth TX
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An old rancher decided he'd had enough after 50 years of cattle ranching and decided to turn the ranch over to his grown sons.
They thanked their Dad, but they had never cared for the old ranch name. They talked and decided to changed the name of the ranch to the Focus Ranch, where the sons raise meat.
OK....deep breaths now... 
Mike
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scopemankit
super member
Reged: 01/27/09
Posts: 142
Loc: south africa
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On reflection. I think I'll pass!
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Chris
Cape Town
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refractory
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 02/05/05
Posts: 1234
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Posted long ago, so don't get your knickers in a bunch- how about the Herschel Wedgie- intended to bring a little illumination to where the sun don't shine?
Jess Tauber
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Glig
sage
Reged: 10/02/05
Posts: 370
Loc: Baltimore, MD
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Focus Ranch? Raise meat?   
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Richard Caldwell
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kfrederick
professor emeritus
Reged: 02/01/08
Posts: 669
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I did not GRIT IT . Mike your optics puns need more polish . Maybe you are loosing contact . HA HA .
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dave brock
super member
Reged: 06/06/08
Posts: 165
Loc: Hamilton, New Zealand
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Quote:
Focus Ranch? Raise meat?
Sun's rays meet (if you need illuminating)
Dave
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20" homebuilt truss dob
6" watson refractor
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dave brock
super member
Reged: 06/06/08
Posts: 165
Loc: Hamilton, New Zealand
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So Mike, what's your primary objective for starting this thread anyway?
Dave
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20" homebuilt truss dob
6" watson refractor
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Mark Harry
Post Laureate
Reged: 09/05/05
Posts: 3128
Loc: Northeast
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Focus ranch where the sun's rays meet..............
Took me about 5 minutes to see the pun- call me thick as a glass blank! Good one, Mikey!
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So many projects, so little time!
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johnnyha
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/12/06
Posts: 1139
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Very nice! Now what is the BEST optics pun?
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Johnny
Spicewood, TX
Sherman Oaks, CA
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Ed Jones
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/06/04
Posts: 1415
Loc: Sin-sin-atti
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Sounds like one of those tall Texas tales, usually a bit of ex-aberration.
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Ed Jones
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tim53
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 12/17/04
Posts: 1459
Loc: Highland Park, CA
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In his book, "Unusual Telescopes", the late Peter Manly describes how he would give presentations while wearing a baseball cap with the word "Lens" printed on the front.
-Tim.
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"We`re just waiting looking skyward as the days come down.
Someone promised there`d be answers, if we stayed around."
-Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark, "The Romance of the Telescope"
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Glig
sage
Reged: 10/02/05
Posts: 370
Loc: Baltimore, MD
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Quote:
Quote:
Focus Ranch? Raise meat?
Sun's rays meet (if you need illuminating)
Dave
I STILL don't get it. Either that, or it ain't funny. Besides, it's parallel light so it don't focus.
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Richard Caldwell
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refractory
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 02/05/05
Posts: 1234
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Parallel light will focus if you live in a universe of the right curvature- though it may take awhile longer than you've got..!
Jess Tauber
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bbbriggs
member
Reged: 04/10/09
Posts: 14
Loc: Graham WA
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How about writing a letter to Dear Abbe?
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18" reflector
14.5" reflector
televue ranger
denk II power x 14's and 21's
20x110 binoculars
16x70 binoculars
31,17,9 nagles
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mark cowan
Vendor (Obsidian Optics)
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2159
Loc: salem, OR
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I heard this one some while back:
Did'ja hear about the optician who fell into his lens grinding machine?
He made a spectacle of himself.
Mark
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Preston Smith
Military Observer
Reged: 04/24/05
Posts: 3449
Loc: Eureka, Pa
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So is this thread supposed to be the collimation of the entire scope or spectrum of optic humor?
There, that's a triplet! 
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Preston
Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of His great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. Isaiah 40:26
SV115T,NHII,SV70,SV50 and Tele Vue Ranger
Vintage Refractors: Asahi-Pentax, Edmund Scientific, Tasco, Unitron
60mm Telescope Club
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refractory
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 02/05/05
Posts: 1234
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When the moment is right, how will you deal with your ED? Is focus soft? What if the mounting isn't stable, or there is backlash on the Slo-Mo? Won't even go into dewing....
Jess Tauber
Edited by refractory (10/25/09 05:09 PM)
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Mike I. Jones
Carpal Tunnel
Reged: 07/02/06
Posts: 1572
Loc: Fort Worth TX
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"Dear Abbe"...
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johnnyha
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/12/06
Posts: 1139
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This thing has been up almost 24 hours and no jokes about the seventh planet? I'm VERY disappointed.
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Johnny
Spicewood, TX
Sherman Oaks, CA
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mark cowan
Vendor (Obsidian Optics)
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2159
Loc: salem, OR
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"Best pun" is an oxymoron. The worst pun is by definition the best... And a lot of these jokes aren't puns. 
Here's one:
Seems these two opticians were troubleshooting a new research telescope. One says to the other, "The astronomers had no luck at prime." The other one replies, "Well, beats me. Coudé focus?"
Best,
Mark
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robboski2004
member
Reged: 01/14/08
Posts: 21
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Quote:
"Dear Abbe"...
Mike,
some of these puns are schott !
Ian.
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gregj888
sage
Reged: 03/26/06
Posts: 303
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Ro
.
.
After Reading these I think some of for you are Fried...
Greg
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Owen
professor emeritus
Reged: 06/21/07
Posts: 514
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This thread makes as much sense as mounting Germans on the Equator.
Diffraction that thinks this is a good plan is clearly not seeing clearly
owen
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kfrederick
professor emeritus
Reged: 02/01/08
Posts: 669
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mounting Germans?
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Owen
professor emeritus
Reged: 06/21/07
Posts: 514
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Yes, a pierless suggestion, one that they otherwise would bolt from.
Owen
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grendel
sage
Reged: 04/12/09
Posts: 250
Loc: Canterbury, Kent, UK
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unitron we stand department store we fall
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dave b
Post Laureate
Reged: 05/10/05
Posts: 3548
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http://www.geocities.com/fearfulsym3try/astronomy.html
geocities is being deleted tonight, so best to save any pages you have bookmarked on your own hardrive.
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dave bonandrini
30" f/5.2 Dobsonian
President of GCAC
Astromart Moderator
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Sarkikos
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 12/18/07
Posts: 1071
Loc: Suburban Maryland
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Damning with *faint* praise.
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Celestron 10" f5 Newt on 1stBase (DSO)
Zhumell 8" f6 Newt, Bosma 6" f12 MCT (NSO)
6" f5 Newt, 130ST, 4.5" f4.4 Ball w/GLP, ST80 w/Crayford (RFTs)
C4-R (NSO/DS)
90mm f13 MCT (Luna/DS)
SkyMaster 25x100, 15x70
Zhumell 20x80
Barska XWA 10x50, 8x40
OptiView LPR 10x50
Const View 2.3x40
BV-125C
CG5, 2 drv / CG4, 2 drv, wood legs, ScopeStuff saddle / CG3, 1 drv
SV AZ / 501HDV on Bogen 055XB / P+ on Oberwerk
QuikFinder, Telrad
Orion Dynamo Pro 12, Dew-Not
Have GLP and not afraid to use it!
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Sarkikos
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 12/18/07
Posts: 1071
Loc: Suburban Maryland
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Better?: Damning with faint rays.
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Celestron 10" f5 Newt on 1stBase (DSO)
Zhumell 8" f6 Newt, Bosma 6" f12 MCT (NSO)
6" f5 Newt, 130ST, 4.5" f4.4 Ball w/GLP, ST80 w/Crayford (RFTs)
C4-R (NSO/DS)
90mm f13 MCT (Luna/DS)
SkyMaster 25x100, 15x70
Zhumell 20x80
Barska XWA 10x50, 8x40
OptiView LPR 10x50
Const View 2.3x40
BV-125C
CG5, 2 drv / CG4, 2 drv, wood legs, ScopeStuff saddle / CG3, 1 drv
SV AZ / 501HDV on Bogen 055XB / P+ on Oberwerk
QuikFinder, Telrad
Orion Dynamo Pro 12, Dew-Not
Have GLP and not afraid to use it!
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