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#301 chrysalis

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Posted 27 January 2021 - 04:22 AM

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#302 chrysalis

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Posted 27 January 2021 - 04:24 AM

What is an astronaut’s favorite thing on the keyboard?

 

The space bar!



#303 chrysalis

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Posted 27 January 2021 - 04:24 AM

What do scientist get for bad breath?

 

Experi-mints.



#304 chrysalis

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Posted 27 January 2021 - 04:26 AM

Why don’t scientists have doorbells?

 

Because they want to win no-bell prizes...



#305 Mister T

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Posted 27 January 2021 - 07:40 AM

Why do Astronauts never clean out their attics?

Because they have all the Right Stuff.


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#306 chrysalis

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Posted 28 January 2021 - 07:40 AM

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#307 chrysalis

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Posted 28 January 2021 - 07:41 AM

What did Benjamin Franklin write in his diary after discovering electricity?

 

“I’m shocked!”


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#308 chrysalis

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Posted 28 January 2021 - 07:41 AM

Why does no one like to talk to Pi at parties?

 

Because he goes on forever.



#309 chrysalis

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Posted 28 January 2021 - 07:42 AM

The optimist sees the glass half full.

 

The pessimist sees the glass half empty.

 

The engineer sees a glass that is two times too large.



#310 chrysalis

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Posted 29 January 2021 - 09:37 AM

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#311 chrysalis

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Posted 29 January 2021 - 09:38 AM

The cost of the space program is truly astronomical!



#312 chrysalis

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Posted 29 January 2021 - 09:38 AM

How do deaf mathematicians communicate?

 

Through sine language.



#313 chrysalis

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Posted 29 January 2021 - 09:39 AM

9 sodium atoms walk into a bar…

 

Then in comes batman!



#314 chrysalis

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Posted 30 January 2021 - 04:26 AM

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#315 chrysalis

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Posted 30 January 2021 - 04:27 AM

There’s a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.



#316 chrysalis

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Posted 30 January 2021 - 04:28 AM

What does DNA stand for?

 

National Dyslexia Association



#317 chrysalis

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Posted 30 January 2021 - 04:30 AM

A physicist, a biologist, and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time. The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously he was drowned and never returned.

 

The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He, too, never returned.

 

The chemist waited for a long time, and afterwards wrote the observation, “The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water.”



#318 chrysalis

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Posted 31 January 2021 - 04:41 AM

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#319 chrysalis

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Posted 31 January 2021 - 04:43 AM

The doctor tells a woman that she has only six months to live. He advises her to marry a chemist and move to Toledo.

 

The woman asks, “Will this cure my illness?”

 

“No,” replies the doctor, “but it will make six months seem like a very long time.”



#320 chrysalis

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Posted 31 January 2021 - 04:44 AM

How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?

 

Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.



#321 chrysalis

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Posted 31 January 2021 - 04:44 AM

A dung beetle walks into a bar and says, “Excuse me, is this stool taken?”


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#322 chrysalis

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Posted 01 February 2021 - 04:55 AM

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#323 chrysalis

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Posted 01 February 2021 - 04:57 AM

A psychoanalyst shows a patient an inkblot and asks him what he sees. The patient says: “A man and woman making love.”

 

The psychoanalyst shows him a second inkblot, and the patient says: “That’s also a man and woman making love.”

 

The psychoanalyst says: “You are obsessed with ****.”

 

The patient says: “What do you mean I’m obsessed? You’re the one with all the dirty pictures.”



#324 chrysalis

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Posted 01 February 2021 - 04:58 AM

Why does a burger have less energy than a steak?

 

Because it’s in its ground state



#325 chrysalis

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Posted 01 February 2021 - 04:59 AM

Why can’t you take electricity to social outings?

 

Because it doesn’t know how to conduct itself.




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