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#326 chrysalis

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Posted 01 February 2021 - 05:00 AM

What did the nuclear physicist say before the bar fight?

 

"Let me atom!"



#327 Mister T

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Posted 01 February 2021 - 07:27 AM

Anyone who doest believe in Dark Energy just needs to put up a "Free Guiness" sign on St Patty's day



#328 chrysalis

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Posted 02 February 2021 - 04:18 AM

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#329 chrysalis

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Posted 02 February 2021 - 04:19 AM

A student asked their teacher if they would have any problems on the upcoming test.

 

The teacher replied, “I think you’ll have lots of problems on the test."



#330 chrysalis

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Posted 02 February 2021 - 04:20 AM

It’s always a good idea to bring a mathematician camping. They come prepared with a pair of axes.



#331 chrysalis

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Posted 02 February 2021 - 04:21 AM

What shape do you always have to be careful of? A trap-azoid!



#332 chrysalis

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Posted 02 February 2021 - 04:22 AM

Which shape is the most deadly?

 

A Rambo-hedron.



#333 Mister T

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Posted 02 February 2021 - 07:49 AM

What... is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?



#334 telescope200

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Posted 02 February 2021 - 04:37 PM

Heisenberg and Schrödinger get pulled over for speeding.

The cop asks Heisenberg "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Heisenberg replies, "No, but we know exactly where we are!"

The officer looks at him confused and says "you were going 108 miles per hour!"

Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, "Great! Now we're lost!"

The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk.

"A cat," Schrödinger replies.

The cop opens the trunk and yells "Hey! This cat is dead."

Schrödinger angrily replies, "Well he is now."


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#335 chrysalis

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Posted 03 February 2021 - 04:27 AM

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#336 chrysalis

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Posted 03 February 2021 - 04:29 AM

What math problem do German students have trouble answering?

 

"Do you know what the square root of 81 is?"


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#337 chrysalis

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Posted 03 February 2021 - 04:31 AM

What did the limestone say to the Geologist?

 

DON’T TAKE ME FOR GRANITE!



#338 chrysalis

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Posted 03 February 2021 - 04:31 AM

How do you cut the sea in half?

 

WITH A SEE SAW!



#339 chrysalis

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Posted 04 February 2021 - 04:41 AM

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#340 chrysalis

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Posted 04 February 2021 - 04:42 AM

How do trees get on the internet?

 

They log in...



#341 chrysalis

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Posted 04 February 2021 - 04:42 AM

How can you tell a tree is a dogwood tree?

 

By its bark.



#342 chrysalis

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Posted 04 February 2021 - 04:43 AM

What kind of hair do oceans have?

 

Wavy.



#343 chrysalis

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Posted 05 February 2021 - 05:04 AM

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#344 chrysalis

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Posted 05 February 2021 - 05:05 AM

What did the tree wear to the pool party?

 

Swimming trunks!



#345 chrysalis

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Posted 05 February 2021 - 05:06 AM

What kind of tree can fit into your hand?

 

A palm tree...



#346 chrysalis

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Posted 05 February 2021 - 05:06 AM

Why was the bee’s hair sticky?

 

Because he used a honey-comb.



#347 tgrlx200

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Posted 06 February 2021 - 04:36 AM

What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield?

Its butt...



#348 tgrlx200

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Posted 06 February 2021 - 04:37 AM

I bet it doesn't have the guts to do that again.
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#349 chrysalis

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Posted 06 February 2021 - 02:08 PM

I bet it doesn't have the guts to do that again.

:roflmao:



#350 chrysalis

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Posted 06 February 2021 - 02:09 PM

CARBON DATING.jpg




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