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Science Jokes

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#651 chrysalis

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Posted 17 April 2021 - 03:47 AM

I'm teaching my white blood cells math and my red blood cells computer science.

 

Once they become STEM cells I am hoping to regrow a finger.



#652 chrysalis

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Posted 17 April 2021 - 03:47 AM

I don't know why they bother with all that science history stuff in class like "Nature abhors a vacuum".

 

Anyone who's ever had pets knew that already.



#653 chrysalis

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Posted 17 April 2021 - 03:48 AM

Why was Spongebob fired from his job as a chemist?

 

His absorbance had no correlation to his concentration.



#654 chrysalis

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Posted 18 April 2021 - 04:05 AM

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#655 chrysalis

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Posted 18 April 2021 - 04:08 AM

I had a combined class of philosophy and math today......

 

The topic's name was " √ 2 Success"



#656 chrysalis

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Posted 18 April 2021 - 04:08 AM

Do you know why I hate Math?

 

It keeps asking me to find my Ex.



#657 chrysalis

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Posted 18 April 2021 - 04:09 AM

Why did the girl wear glass only during the math class?

 

To improve d-vision.



#658 chrysalis

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Posted 19 April 2021 - 04:37 AM

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#659 chrysalis

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Posted 19 April 2021 - 04:38 AM

What’s the price for mutiny in the sub atomic realm?

 

Walking the Planck.



#660 chrysalis

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Posted 19 April 2021 - 04:39 AM

Why are telescopes pointed away from earth?

 

Because they search for intelligent life.



#661 chrysalis

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Posted 19 April 2021 - 04:39 AM

Somebody whacked my head with a telescope today

 

I was seeing stars...



#662 Mister T

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Posted 19 April 2021 - 05:59 AM

What did the Cuttlfish say when it swam into a concrete wall??

..

 

..

 

..

 

.

 

..

..

 

..

 

..

 

..

 

..

 

..

 

"It appears that an intelligent species with opposable thumbs and that has mastered the use of a number of sciences and engineering has constructed a means to block the flow of this river and store the water for various uses including the generation of electromagnetic energy  through the conversion of gravitational potential to a rotating conductor in a magnetic field.

This phenomenon surely requires further study. I shall apply for a research grant and develop a testable hypothesis and expirements that might prove or disprove my theory.

But alas this will never happen because the guy who is writhing this rather drawn out attempt at humour does not realize that cuttle fish are an oceanic dwelling species and could never survive in a river environment that would consist of fresh waters and be conducive to the building of such an extensive project.

 


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#663 chrysalis

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Posted 20 April 2021 - 02:40 AM

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#664 chrysalis

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Posted 20 April 2021 - 02:42 AM

A guy asks his friend, "Have you ever used a telescope?"

 

"No, is it fun ?", answers the latter.

 

"Yeah you should look into it."



#665 chrysalis

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Posted 20 April 2021 - 02:43 AM

What is a telescope's favorite language?

 

Farsi.



#666 chrysalis

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Posted 20 April 2021 - 02:44 AM

I wanted to buy the latest telescope so I could see outer space.

 

But the cost was astronomical...



#667 chrysalis

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Posted Yesterday, 03:52 AM

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#668 chrysalis

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Posted Yesterday, 03:54 AM

As the first fleet rounded the headlands and sailed into Botany Bay, the local Aborigines could see several men looking towards them through big fancy telescopes.

 

One of the Aborigines commented, "Stupid people can't even play the didgeridoo."



#669 chrysalis

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Posted Yesterday, 03:54 AM

Do you know how to use a telescope?

 

You should look into it.



#670 chrysalis

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Posted Yesterday, 03:55 AM

Help, I think my neighbor might be stalking me.

 

I saw her googling me while looking through my telescope.



#671 chrysalis

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Posted Today, 03:29 AM

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#672 chrysalis

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Posted Today, 03:30 AM

What do you call a telescope that can't stop running into stuff?

 

A kaleidoscope.



#673 chrysalis

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Posted Today, 03:31 AM

A telescope showed up in the lost in found at my job today...

 

I don’t know who’s telescope it is but I’m looking into it



#674 chrysalis

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Posted Today, 03:35 AM

A Pirate captain and his first mate make landfall on the island of Madagascar.

 

On land they see a variety of creatures, but most interesting a lemur around a wreck on the beach.

 

Upon closer examination by the captain, to his astonishment, the lemur is spying on the pirates with a telescope!

 

The captain says to his first mate, “Do you see that lemur is looking at us with a TELESCOPE?”

 

The first mate responds “Aye-Aye, Captain!”




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