2478 replies to this topic

[chrysalis]

[chrysalis]

Guess you can call me Mr. Anti-gravity.

 

'Cause no one ever falls for me.

[chrysalis]

Did you hear about the activist who fought against gravity?

 

They started an uprising.

[chrysalis]

Everything was great until gravity was invented.

 

Things went downhill after that.

[Dave Mitsky]

How did the two pirates with bronze gold teeth greet each other?

 

Alloy there matey!

[chrysalis]

[chrysalis]

Gravity is really important as a fundamental force of nature.

 

But if you get rid of it you get gravy.

[chrysalis]

Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity field.

 

But she so ugly people are still repelled by her.

[chrysalis]

I was going to make a joke about gravity but I eventually dropped it.

[chrysalis]

Edited by chrysalis, 01 December 2021 - 04:28 AM.

[chrysalis]

I tuck my knees to my chest and lean forward until gravity takes me.

 

That's just how I roll.

[chrysalis]

I taught my son about gravity by throwing pasta and sauce at the ceiling

 

He didn't get it at first, but it wasn't long before the penne dropped.

[chrysalis]

Scientists recently discovered that there's no such thing as gravity...

 

This planet just sucks.

[Todd N]

Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity field.

 

But she so ugly people are still repelled by her.

 

If she gets any fatter she'll collapse into a singularity.

[Mister T]

Yo mama is so fat she has other smaller fat women orbiting around her...

[tdfwds]

Yo mama is so fat she has other smaller fat women orbiting around her...

An Einstein's Cross one is needed, or some sort of Gravitational lensing, but I can't think of a way of making it pithy instead of belaboured.

 

Or there's the old music hall variety, which was usually mother in laws instead of mama around here :-

 

We went to the beach for a day out and took the Mother-in-Law with us.  She bent over and caused a panic, everyone thought it was an eclipse.

Edited by tdfwds, 01 December 2021 - 05:02 PM.

[tdfwds]

We called our cat Heisenberg.

 

Don't you mean Schrodinger?

 

No, Heisenberg, because at any particular time we're uncertain where it is!

 

 

 

(I bet that's already been done on here somewhere in the 2100+ posts)

Edited by tdfwds, 01 December 2021 - 05:08 PM.

[chrysalis]

We called our cat Heisenberg.

 

Don't you mean Schrodinger?

 

No, Heisenberg, because at any particular time we're uncertain where it is!

 

 

 

(I bet that's already been done on here somewhere in the 2100+ posts)

Interestingly, not that I can recall

[mikemarotta]

Heisenberg gets pulled over by a cop on his way to work.

The officer approaches his window and says "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"

Heisenberg replies, "No, but I know where I am."

The cop pulls him over and asks for his driver's license. Reading it, the cops says, "Dr. Heisenberg, I pulled you over becase this is a school zone and you were going over 100 kph. "Great," growls Heisenberg, "now I don't know where i am."

[chrysalis]

[chrysalis]

I was going to tell you a gravity joke

 

....but no one was gonna fall for it.

[chrysalis]

Isaac Newton: "Gravity exists"

 

*drops mic*

[chrysalis]

Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?

 

The short answer is technically speaking it can stand on its own but it is very unstable. In order to keep something standing you need the center of gravity of the object to be within its points of contact with the ground. With only 2 points of contact with the ground, that space is a very small plane. You would need it perfectly positioned with no other forces acting on it. The tiniest disturbance could knock it over (and will).

 

Not because it was two tired.

[chrysalis]

At one time a falling Apple lead to the Theory of Gravity.

 

Now it's just a broken iPhone.

[chrysalis]