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Science Jokes II

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#1 cuzimthedad

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Posted 08 February 2022 - 11:01 AM

Let the laughter continue.

 

Original Science Jokes topic is here.


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#2 chrysalis

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Posted 08 February 2022 - 05:37 PM

shark lego.JPG


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#3 FloridaFocus

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Posted 08 February 2022 - 09:56 PM

I've loved following the previous thread and am glad to see the spirit continue.

Here's to the law of conservation of jocular momentum!
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#4 EJN

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Posted 08 February 2022 - 11:28 PM

Not a joke, but a limerick

 

 

There was a young lady named Bright,

who could travel much faster than light.

She set out one day,

in a relative way,

and came back the previous night.


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#5 chrysalis

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Posted 09 February 2022 - 03:47 AM

Mirth can neither be created nor destroyed.



#6 chrysalis

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Posted 09 February 2022 - 03:49 AM

What do you call a melon that is unable to run off and marry?

 

Can't-elope

 

What to you call a melon that resists running off and marrying?

 

Won't-elope

 

What do you call a melon that gets run over by a truck?

 

Squash.


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#7 chrysalis

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Posted 09 February 2022 - 03:50 AM

Washington-ac.jpg


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#8 chrysalis

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Posted 09 February 2022 - 03:52 AM

Man: When do you use that calculator?

 

2nd Man: Oh, only on special equations.....



#9 chrysalis

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Posted 09 February 2022 - 03:53 AM

Because hippos are surprisingly dangerous, zoologists use the Pythagorean theorem to calculate the length of their backs.

 

This is called finding the hippotenuse.


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#10 chrysalis

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Posted 09 February 2022 - 03:54 AM

The Pythagorean Theorem, Newton's Third Law and Bernoulli's Principle walk into a bar.

 

The bartender says, "I'm not going to get this joke, am I?"


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#11 Dave Mitsky

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Posted 09 February 2022 - 04:44 AM

A boy was into astronomy.

 

He wanted to know how stars die. His father told him, "Usually of an overdose, son."


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#12 Dave Mitsky

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Posted 09 February 2022 - 04:48 AM

What do you get when astronomers play tic-tac-toe?

 

Exoplanets!



#13 Dave Mitsky

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Posted 09 February 2022 - 04:51 AM

What's a space pirate's favorite planet?

 

Marrrs!



#14 Dave Mitsky

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Posted 09 February 2022 - 04:58 AM

What does a vegan black hole say?

"I'm on a strictly planet-based diet."


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#15 chrysalis

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Posted 09 February 2022 - 10:58 AM

What does a vegan black hole say?

"I'm on a strictly planet-based diet."

:hmm: I thought that's what the Doomsday Machine says ...


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#16 Dave Mitsky

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Posted 09 February 2022 - 04:38 PM

What was Avogadro’s favorite sport?

 

Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.


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#17 Dave Mitsky

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Posted 10 February 2022 - 02:47 AM

I was watching an excellent documentary about quantum physics the other day.

 

But I decided to stop watching in case I affected the outcome.


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#18 Dave Mitsky

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Posted 10 February 2022 - 02:50 AM

Gravity is the most important topic in physics.

 

If you remove it, you only have gravy.


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#19 Dave Mitsky

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Posted 10 February 2022 - 02:51 AM

At the end of the physics lecture, a student asked his professor, “Can you tell me what happened before the Big Bang?”

The professor replied, “Sorry. No Time.”


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#20 chrysalis

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Posted 10 February 2022 - 03:59 AM

I was watching an excellent documentary about quantum physics the other day.

 

But I decided to stop watching in case I affected the outcome.

:waytogo:



#21 chrysalis

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Posted 10 February 2022 - 04:00 AM

moon bathroomm pix.jpg


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#22 chrysalis

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Posted 10 February 2022 - 04:01 AM

I have developed a truly marvelous demonstration of Fermat's last theorem ...

 

which this post is too short to contain.


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#23 chrysalis

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Posted 10 February 2022 - 04:03 AM

There was a horse who was a genius at arithmetic, which it learned with no difficulty.

 

Algebra was a breeze, and it could even prove theorems in Euclidean geometry.

 

However, when someone tried to teach it analytic geometry, it would rear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously, neigh loudly, and make violent head motions in resistance.

 

The moral of this story is that you can't put Descartes before the horse.


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#24 chrysalis

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Posted 10 February 2022 - 04:04 AM

It's finals week and the only question on the test is "what is 2+2?"

 

A philosophy major writes a long eloquent response but doesn't bother to actually answer the question.

 

A math major makes a formal proof that 2=2 and that addition is commutative before using the squeeze theorem to prove that 4≤2+2≤4.

 

An engineering major knows the answer is 4 but writes down 5 just to be safe.


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#25 chrysalis

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Posted 10 February 2022 - 04:05 AM

I came up with a hilarious joke about Fermat. But the margin was too small to contain it.




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