...I know that somewhere around 35 or 40 per inch of aperture is supposed to be about right for viewing planets etc...
That might be true for a small refractor.
And for a large Newtonian, that might still be true for separating double stars.
But resolving surface detail on planets can be tricky, and typically requires a sharper, brighter image.
In my observing experience with 16- to 22-inch apertures (with laminar, coastal Florida skies), when the seeing permits, I find the optimal image size for studying planetary surface detail is somewhere between 20X to 25X per inch of aperture (to make the image twice as large would be 40X to 50X perch of aperture). This assumes good optics, the cooling glass/scope has settled down, the collimation is within the prescribed tolerances, and the target planet is at least ~45-degrees above the horizon. Even then, the image quality may fluctuate if there are more than a few people surrounding your scope.
That said, I get very nice views of Saturn and Jupiter at 320X (about 15X per inch of aperture).
... I'm finding that it's really hard to even get a planet in view and when it is it drifts so fast by the eyepiece!
Even at 15X per inch of aperture, an Ethos eyepiece would be a good investment (followed by a Paracorr).
I use both (Ethos and Paracorr), and my scope is driven.
For what it's worth, before I moved up to a driven Dobsonian, I had a "push to" 20-inch f/6.2 Tectron Dobsonian that I manually tracked, often from the top of an 8-foot ladder! I used that scope for almost a decade, and I can assure you that, with practice, you will find that it gets easier to both center a planet in a 300X field of view and to keep it centered, even with a crowd waiting for a turn at the eyepiece.